Beauty + Love

Ben started a Vlog.  What does that mean? It means that I end up on camera.. A LOT.  Being 37 weeks pregnant isn’t when I feel the most glamorous.  My body loves gaining weight during pregnancy.  My legs get round, my boobs get gigantic, and I waddle!  I am very critical of myself.  I don’t particularly enjoy having photos taken of me, let alone video that shows how awkward it is for me to move.  I prefer to be behind the camera, not in front of it!

Today was a really special day.  My oldest son Jon came home from Japan.  He surprised his siblings at school..   So, naturally today Ben shot a Vlog.  As I watched it I realized something… feeling beautiful comes in many forms.  A few years ago when I was in great shape, spending a lot of time on myself both physically and emotionally I felt beautiful.  My skin was tan, my shoulders were ripped out, my butt was perky and I felt extremely independent for the first time in my life.  Today as I watched the Vlog that Ben put together, I felt beautiful for a completely different reason.  My feet are swollen, my thighs are touching, my back hurts… but I felt beautiful because I felt loved.  I saw my gigantically pregnant self standing next to all of my children together for the first time in a year and a half.  I saw the man I love spending his time and energy documenting the joy on each of my children’s faces on a day I will never forget.

Physically my body is tired and out of shape.  I am shocked at my size every time I see my reflection in the mirror.  I am thankful to have the opportunity to be growing another baby. I love this sweet baby bump and I am in awe of what my body is capable of, but feeling beautiful is not exactly how I would have described what I feel, until I watched the beauty in my life on a computer screen edited through the eyes of the man who makes me feel more loved and beautiful than I have ever felt in my life.

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